


Letting Shadows rest

by JaydrFamiliar



Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Angst, Elezen Warrior of Light (Final Fantasy XIV), Enby Giott, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, I just wanted to write fluff but then angst happened, My WoL decided to drag me down the rarepair hole so I guess I live here now, Other, Post-Patch 5.0: Shadowbringers, Post-Patch 5.3: Reflections in Crystal, Trans Warrior of Light (Final Fantasy XIV)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-24
Updated: 2020-10-24
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:15:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27182326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JaydrFamiliar/pseuds/JaydrFamiliar
Summary: Siiryel Glanodel, warrior of light, returns from her mission to destroy the Sapphire Weapon and decides to spend some time on the First to get away from it all. Though her plan was to assist at Watt’s anvil and the Mean, Esteem and Giott decide to derail it.
Relationships: Giott/Warrior of Light (Final Fantasy XIV)
Kudos: 8





	Letting Shadows rest

**Author's Note:**

> Elezen Dark Knight doesn’t know how to relax so Esteem kicks her ass about it. Thankfully a good friend is there to help.
> 
> I headcanon Giott as NB (like, none gender with left female specifically).

The cool breeze of the Crystarium on her face allowed Siiryel to untense just a little. She had yet to sleep since she had completed the mission to dispatch the Sapphire Weapon, and between packing up her supplies for the visit and teleporting halfway across the world and back her muscles were aching. Still, the Lakeland air let her know she wasn’t far from her first stop.

As she crossed the Musica Universalis markets, she put on a smile and waved back to those who recognised her. She didn’t feel interested in attracting any attention, but part of being the Warrior of Darkness was keeping her image as an empathetic and friendly person. Not that it was a façade, of course, but she definitely didn’t feel up for protracted social interaction. A quick lie down in her room in the Pendants and then off to the Anvil to help Ronitt with his ‘rolling tankard’ project. She nodded to Cyella as she dragged her case up the stairs to the Pendants, catching the elf’s eye as she scanned her surroundings. It was strange to think the woman currently wiping down a table was the one who accidentally doomed this reflection, but by this stage Siiryel had stopped considering things ‘too strange’.

Her room was just how she left it last week before she returned to the Source. She propped her case near the cupboards and collapsed onto the bed. The ache in her muscles slowly burnt at her as she relaxed, letting her feel just how much tension and tiredness she had been pushing through. This was the part she hated the most; she knew she needed downtime to keep going, but it was a lot easier to just keep pushing through and hopefully sleep it off. ‘No rest for the righteous’ was an ideology to her these days; there was always something she could be doing to help others and damned if…

_“Brave move, assuming I wouldn’t see what you were doing.”_

The voice was accompanied by a low and insistent sound of breath coming from the direction of her case, like the air in the room was sighing as it parted for something to take its place. _Seven hells why now..._

Siiryel hoisted herself up to a sitting position and looked up to see a figure clad in a dark Ishgardian armoured coat glaring down at her with her own face. Esteem, she had come to know this darkside apparition as.

“I was resting before going to do some gentle gadget-work for the Dwarves. Fine mechanisms, nothing strenuous, just some light activity to give myself a b-” She spoke with a smile before being cut across

 _“Like hells you were.”_ Every time she heard her own voice chastising her it felt like a knife. _“You were going to get carried away doing half the work they had going while they get drunk off their faces on grog. We’ve done more than enough; we do not owe anything else to anyone today.”_

Siiryel did see the truth in Esteem’s words. One task always led to another, not to mention how she was planning to volunteer at the Crystalline Mean once she’d finished at the Anvil. Still, it was hardly like her life was on the line, and it kept her mind occupied.

“Maybe you’re right but what else am I going to do? Sit around contemplating my sins when I could be giving a helping hand to a friend? Goldsmithing and tinkering are enjoyable hobbies, maybe you could give them a tr-”

Esteem didn’t bother to cut across her with words this time, instead dragging her to her feet by her collar. She didn’t even feel like she had it in herself to resist at this point.

 _“We are exhausted. We’ve been through this a hundred times before, so don’t lie to me, to us. You know what happens to us when we push ourselves too hard, what happens to Myste,”_ Esteem growled, gently shaking her back and forth.

“Now you’re just trying to guilt me,” Siiryel said, a dangerous calm clawing its way back into her voice.”

 _“Yes. And you should feel guilty about it. We’re in this together, and you need to stop falling back into this.”_ There was a quality to the voice that almost sounded like pleading. For the rough, aggressive act they put on, Esteem was fundamentally an entity of emotion, and that reminder was what finally pierced through her stubbornness. Siiryel sighed deeply and averted her gaze.

“You’re right. I’m sorry.”

Esteem gave a wry smile and let her go. The apparition strode over to the window, and opened one of the shutters, staring up at the evening sky. _“One full day taking time for yourself, not others. Do what you want, but I’m going to come back with our sword if I catch you doing little acts of charity, understood?”_

Siiryel tutted at that and rolled her eyes before nodding firmly. “Thank you. We do really need some time to just rest…” She turned to look at her case, half open from what she could only assume was aether pouring from her soul crystal which had caused Esteem to manifest. As she looked back up to the window, her darkside had vanished, leaving the room quiet once again. She strode over to the case and began to unpack. She had intended for this to be a quick visit, possibly overnight, for a change of scenery, but if she was going to be taking things slower she might be here a while longer. She reached for Fray’s soul stone and held it to her forehead, quietly thinking apologies to Esteem and Myste before placing it back in her armour.

She closed the shutters at the window and began to change into more casual clothing. Her work clothes were comfortable, but they were still for business. Mercifully she had packed some casualwear just in case she needed it. She slipped on some trousers and comfortable boots, replaced her vest with a less hardwearing one, and was in the middle of buttoning up a tailored Ishgardian jacket when she heard a knock at the door.

She slowly walked over to the door, wondering who it could possibly be given the small number of people who knew where she stayed, when the knocking occurred again. Leaving her jacket half done up she opened the door to see a purple-haired dwarf stood smiling at them, lifting an arm in greeting.

“Lali-ho! I hope you weren’t trying to avoid me.” Giott declared, striding into the room. Siiryel could have sworn she saw their eyes flicker to her chest, where her vest was visible under her jacket.

“Lali-ho!” Siiryel replied in bemusement, trying to at least be polite through her surprise. “I wasn’t avoiding you specifically, just thought I could sneak off somewhere to do some crafting work.”

Giott had already hopped up onto a stool at the table, placing a bottle of something presumably alcoholic in front of them. “Good, I haven’t seen you since you had your big showdown a few weeks back, so I brought you something to drink, no need to thank me.” The tone of voice implied they had no intention of letting Siiryel leave while they were there. _Esteem needn’t have bothered after all._

Sitting herself down next to the dwarf, she looked at the drink they were already pouring into a nearby mug. Mead by the looks of it. “It’s a good one, got it from them cats up in Rak’tika,” They said, pouring into a glass they’d sat in front of Siiryel, “Didn’t think they’d be up for parting with some but some helpful chores and dwarven enthusiasm later they give it me. You don’t drink ale and I remember what you said about wine, so this is the thing right?” Giott said, looking very proud of themself. Siiryel felt her heart skip as she realised they had remembered throwaway remarks she had made and gone out of their way to get something nice for her. She looked down at the glass, noticing she’d been poured maybe half what Giott was getting, and smiled, lifting it to her lips. It was very sweet and surprisingly viscous, masking the burning taste of the alcohol. She closed her eyes and smiled.

“I haven’t had a drink this good in ages,” She turned to look at her grinning friend, who now grabbed her own mug to begin drinking, “You sure this is for me though? You seem to be treating yourself at least as much.” A smug smile accompanied the barb as she watched Giott slam the rapidly emptied mug on the table.

“Well maybe you should be better at drinking so I wouldn’t have to pour you so little. The rest is yours, but damned if I’m not gonna have some of this stuff I worked my arse off for,” They replied indignantly. “But enough about that, you decked that creep right? The hobson wearing Ardbert? Last I heard you’d got your friends and Norvrandt’s favourite catboy home.”

 _Oh if only Raha had heard them say that_. Siiryel’s mind raced, finding some small levity in the words before settling on melancholy as she thought over what had happened since she’d last seen Giott. “I… Yes, He’s gone, defeated. Ardbert’s body can rest again and…” She sighed. “It was the right thing to do, but I don’t feel good about it. We obliterated his soul and ended the starstorm, but with him gone that’s… All he wanted was to save his loved ones. Bring salvation. It doesn’t feel like a victory.” She managed to finish her rambling and drank more of her mead.

Giott looked thoughtful as they hopped off their seat to go and fetch some water. “The end of the day you saved a whole, uhf, bunch of people. I don’t know what that lidibus guy’s whole thing was, but I do know he was real bad news and you gave him what he deserved. You gave him a good decking like I told you to, right?” Siiryel watched in bewilderment as they hopped back onto their stool mid-sentence, setting the water aside to ignore.

“Yeah. He was tough but, in the end we managed to overcome him. I think I’ll have the sound of him shouting the words ‘Gleaming Steel’ in my head for the rest of my days.” She paused to take another gulp of mead. “I’m glad I saved people. Seeing my friends safely home after everything made me feel so relieved, especially when I saw that Rah- sorry, the Exarch- pull through and make it back. I was so worried for so much of that, wouldn’t have been the first time a heroic idiot got himself killed on my behalf.”

It was after a few moments of staring into her now empty glass that she realised Giott had just stopped to watch her silently.

“Siiryel… Something is really eating you, I can tell. Come on, what’s up, you can tell old Giott anything,” The dwarf said, their normal intense persona giving away to a surprising softness Siiryel had only seen once or twice before. She’d spent so long hoping wishing someone would give her permission to drop her brave face that now it had happened, she didn’t really know how to react.

“I’m… Well what isn’t getting to me at this point.” She said with a shrug, giving a half-hearted smile. Looking at that caring expression on Giott’s face, she sighed and tried again. “Every decision I make has consequences. If I don’t help, people die, if I exhaust myself my own magic tries to get away from me. I saved the world, _worlds_ even, but I did it by wiping out an ancient race who just wanted to see their people again. Everything I do, I do for others, but It all feels like a kick in the stomach. No sense of accomplishment lasts, just the awful memories…”

She stopped, catching her breath. It didn’t feel good to say all that but there was an odd sensation not unlike relief, like a blockage in her mind had been broken. Giott’s worried expression quickly turned into a determined smile as they stood up on their seat, proudly announcing, “Then I have just the thing! We’re going to go downstairs and get some proper grub, and you’re gonna tell me everything. All the good and the bad and the weird, you’re gonna tell me and I’m going to listen to it!” They grabbed their cup and lifted it into the air, “I’m an excellent listener, we’ll have you feeling better in no time.”

Siiryel chuckled, shaking her head in disbelief. She grabbed her glass, glugged down the rest of the sweet mead and nodded to the dwarf. Giott had clearly also drained their cup as they were currently glaring at it for the indignity of having contained water, “And of course I need some proper drinks.” They muttered, jumping down off their chair. As Siiryel was standing up, she felt the dwarf grab her hand and start leading her firmly towards the door. _Oh… Maybe I still have a chance?_

***

The Wandering Stair was pleasantly full that evening; not so full that the noise was unbearable, but busy enough that their words could be lost in the background. While Giott helped themself to a pie the size of their head and flagons of ale, Siiryel tucked into a plate of sausages and sauerkraut followed by a pixieberry cheesecake.

It seemed Giott really did want to know _everything_. While Siiryel started with explaining the deal with the Ascians and ancient Amaurot, the eternal war between Zodiark and Hydaelyn, and the fourteen worlds, it rapidly led into how Siiryel got into adventuring in the first place. Her rough start in the archer’s guild in Gridania that lead to her becoming the first non-padjali white mage in an incredibly long time. Joining the scions as their designated godslayer, the following massacre, operation archon… Right from the beginning her story was filled with death and written in blood. Giott interrupted on occasion to express surprise or call a villain of the tale a hobson. Siiryel lost herself in a fit of giggles at the declaration that Van Baelsar sounded like a ‘long-winded sack of shite’.

It was late in the evening when she got around to discussing the coup in Ul’dah and being framed for murder, and how this led to her involvement in the Dragonsong war. A war between ‘elves’ and colossal flying lizards seemed much more their mug of ale than a cosmic war between light and dark. When Siiryel got to retelling the assault on the Vault however, she felt her voice catching in her throat, subconsciously trying to stop herself before she got too upset. She couldn’t bear the idea of crying or even getting weepy in front of her friend, least of all in public, but it was difficult to get through. Giott’s expression turned back to that soft understanding they had shown before, clearly noticing how difficult this was for her. The recounting of how Haurchefant died saving her, his final words, realising the depths of his affection as it rapidly became too late…

“Hey, you can stop you know.” Giott said, straining to reach across the table to grasp her hand. “I think that’s enough for now, you weren’t kidding when you said you had a lot going on.”

Siiryel turned her hand over to give a squeeze back, wiping away the beginnings of tears from her eyes. “Thank you. it’s been years now and it’s not gotten easier but, I suppose I’ve learned to live with it. I think you would have liked him you know.” She let out a quick chuckle “He’d be happy knowing I’ve got good friends like you taking care of me I think.”

Giott proudly patted themselves on the chest “Well of course, he had it absolutely right that it’s better when you’re smiling.”

Siiryel’s heart jumped in her chest again at that. Giott had retreated to help themself to more ale while the elezen’s mind rapidly ticked over those words. Giott had previously rather coyly commented that they felt much better with her around, and if Siiryel wasn’t losing her touch she was sure there was something there but… what if she was wrong? What if she was _right_? The idea of letting herself be close to another was terrifying, she didn’t know if she could cope with that again, Raha’s attempted sacrifice had been bad enough…

 _“Please don’t stop yourself from living your life. Please bring joy to those we have left, while we still can.”_ A voice echoed from within, philosophical but full of youth. _Myste_.

Siiryel took a deep breath and calmed herself. She was _definitely_ out of practise with all this but Myste was right. “Giott I was wondering…"

“I’m as see-through as vodka aren’t I?” Siiryel was startled as the rosy-faced Dwarf interjected, watching the dregs in their mug as they swirled them around. “You’re not as dumb as you look, you know full well I’m doing this because I like you. I always feel better when you’re around and it wouldn’t half make me feel like shite if I couldn’t repay the favour.” They looked up, a smile on their face. “I haven’t hit my limit but maybe I should sleep before I get too soppy hmm?”

“I was thinking of heading to bed myself so, you’re more than welcome to join me.”

The words had left her mouth before she’d had time to realise what she was saying. Too late to stop herself, she affected a smile of her own as she stood up. Giott’s face had lit up, a broad grin spreading across it as they nodded.

***

The sun had long since risen by the time Siiryel stirred from her sleep. From the angle of light creeping through the shutters she guessed it was maybe tenth bell. As she tried to rise to get ready for the day, she was stopped by a weight on her side. Bleary-eyed she turned her head to see Giott lying along her side, resting their head on her shoulder, smiling up at her. “You should know it took a lot of effort not to wake you up. You looked just as dead to the world as when you have one of your visions.”

Siiryel sleepily rolled over to wrap her arms around the teasing dwarf, who sank into the embrace. There was no telling what the future might hold but right in that moment not a single worry disturbed her thoughts.


End file.
